Searching for female crew for summer cruise.

[Thaddeus J. Van Gilder]

I am a 26 y/o chemistry teacher/ boatbuilder in New Jersey looking for female crew for a 8 week cruise of the Chesapeake bay starting in mid june in Ocean City.
The boat is a gaff rigged bristol channel cutter very similar to the Pardey's 2 boats.
The rough itinerary is from Ocean City to Capemay, up to the C and D canal, through the bay, ending with a short passage from Norfolk to Cape May. Experience is optional. Age preferance is a 18 to 30ish
inqueries can be sent to my e-mail at school:
tvangilder@capemaytech.com

[Scott Rosen]

Thad, this is a novel way to meet chicks.

I guess it doesn't run afoul of the "no self-promotion" rules of the Forum. LOL

[Bill Perkins]

As long as the ladies don't pay him , there's no violation .

[Meerkat]

That first one looks like a life-sized Barbie propped up on a rack right down to the shiny skin and the vacuous smile. :eek:

TJvG, don't let the riff-raff bug you. Advertizing for crew is a time-honored tradition. If there is a local sailing paper, those are good places to find crew adverts. Alas, many of them seem to be (much) older single men looking for 18-30 y.o sweeties. At 26, you're the spring chicken of the bunch smile.gif

[Thaddeus J. Van Gilder]

I have been told it is unusual for a 26 year old to have a cruising boat let alone an 80 year old cruising boat.

[Meerkat]

Originally posted by Thaddeus J. Van Gilder:
I have been told it is unusual for a 26 year old to have a cruising boat let alone an 80 year old cruising boat.Yeah, it's probably more usual to find the 80 y.o. guy with the 26 y.o boat looking for the 18 y.o crew LOL.

[NormMessinger]

You specify female. Why so limiting? Perhaps you should tell us what you have in mind for crew. Have you sailed before? Perhaps minding the sheets means something different to different "captains." Inquiring minds want to know.

--Norm

[Pelican]

Yo Norm, if you are wondering why he is limiting his search to a "female" perhaps you should sit down with a knowledgeable 12 year old for a lesson on the birds and bees :D

[NormMessinger]

Phewey, after nearly 40 years as a National Park Service naturalist I heard and talked so much about the birds and bees that I lost all interest in girls.

--Norm

[Ian McColgin]

Actually, Norm has a point.

A good cruising companion may or may not be of the opposite sex and may or may not be of romantic interest. Oftimes the stress and whatnot of cruising is hard unless the romance is very solid.

I've mostly cruised with more women than men over the years, starting in my teens, but it was far more often comradship and friendship, not romance.

One of my favorite cruising partners was (still is) a lesbian. It's nice to hit a harborside bar and make the same lurid comments about the women we see . . .

Anyway, get out on the boat with different prospective crew members a lot - day sails building to overnighters - before inviting anyone on a longer romp.

G'luck

[Scott Rosen]

I have nothing against female cruise companions. I have a few myself. But if you're not specifically looking for romance, then why specify female?

Females create their own maintenence problems that can generally be avoided with men. Granted, I'm just generalizing here . . .

Women's hair will clog your bilge pumps. (Most men I sail with have very little hair, and what they have is short.)

Once a month, women will have some stuff that can't go down your marine w/c, and if you've never had to take apart a pump during a cruise and clean out all of that stuff, then you just can't imagine the fun.

There's other stuff too, but you get the idea.

[Alan D. Hyde]

Fair winds to you Thad.

Never mind Norm and Scott; let them share the hammock!

It's just not the same (thank God).

http://www.sailingvacations.com/images/CapGainH2.jpg

Alan

[Andrew Craig-Bennett]

Scott covered most of it, but omitted one vital question, given the size of your boat - how much water do you carry?

It may be wise to specify "short haired female" rather than "rough coated".

[NormMessinger]

The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable. Lord Chesterfield

At a time long long ago and in a forum far far away Ian (on the right) had a little essay on what he required of crew. I wish I had kept a copy. He pretty well laid it out.

--Norm

[ 09-19-2002, 09:10 PM: Message edited by: NormMessinger ]

[Nicholas Carey]

Well...my experience is that, if confined to close quarters with someone, I'd rather they were a woman. They tend to be more social, IMHO, than men. They tend to talk issues out more than men do[1] and try to arrive at a mutually agreeable solution. It's a whole lot easier to deal with the stresses of close company if you can talk about what's bugging you. Remember on a 30 foot boat, you can only get about 30 feet apart from each other -- 40 feet if you count going to the masthead :D Women also have the aesthetic plus of being easy on the eyes. Not to mention that its easier to meet women if you're with a woman.

[1] OTOH, I was once involved with a woman who seemed to feel that not only was it my duty to divein what the problem was, but also to divine (and implement) a solution to it. Not a recipe for a successful relationship.

[shamus]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Scott Rosen:

Women's hair will clog your bilge pumps. (Most men I sail with have very little hair, and what they have is short.)

I've noticed this too. But the men's is falling out faster.

[Thaddeus J. Van Gilder]

Ok, to clear this up, my hair is half way to my waist, and I prefer women with long hair as well, and quite honestly I have never had hair clog my bilge pump.

but then again my primary bilge pump is an Bronze Edson diaphram pump that could suck a small child through it whole.

as far as why women...

1) they tend to be better at varnish than I.

2 they look better in a bathing suit than my best friend(even "healthier" sized ones).

3) they tend to talk about issues rather than cover them up.

4) they tell you when they are scared or confused or overwhelmed.

5) they make it easier to meet women-previously mentioned, I think.

6) They tend to learn to navigate quicker than men.

7) they are impressed that I shoot the sun every noon whether I need to or not.

8) They puke when they get sea sick... not try to pretend that they aren't
\
9) they learn the lines quicker.

10) they don't care that I don't like outboards on dinghies-I prefer rowing.

Any other questions?

-Thad

[Ian McColgin]

In True Grit, John Wayne looking at Kim Darby swim her horse across the river said, "She reminds me . . . of me."

Well said Thad. Forgive us for even momentarily doubting your wisdom.

[Dave Hadfield]

Well as a pilot I spend my working life in a captain/crew relationship (a partnership, true, but where the captain has the final say). I've flown with many female crewmembers, but the majority are male. Frankly I prefer it that way.

It's just plain easier. Guys more often think alike. You don't have to guard your tongue. You tend to relax more. The whole sexual tension thing is non-existent. From what I've seen men are better at operating machines than women (I know there are exceptions -- Robin, my sailing partner most of the time, is such an exception; she docks Drake all the time and beautifully). Men more often value the machine and how it's functioning more than the conversation or the relationships of the crew running it. I value that, since I'm responsible for the craft.

I know I'm not PC and I sound like a curmudgeon (and there are plenty of men I wouldn't want to sail with at all), but in terms of a person purely as a crewmember, it's easier to stick with the same gender.

It's different if you're talking about a sailing lifepartner. You're the luckiest person in the world if you can share your passion with the one you live with.

But as for recruiting crew for a cruise (in the case where sex is not the Prime Directive), stick with what you know. This is experience talking. I do this for a living, not as a hobby, and though I'm talking airplanes here, not boats, I believe it's applicable. It's simpler, easier and far less surprising to stick with the same gender on a cruise.

Mind you it's your boat -- your rules. Do what you like and have a good cruise.

[Alan D. Hyde]

There's a lot to be said in favor of Dave's position, but remember, if we cared about easier more than we did about better, we wouldn't have wooden boats.

Cherchez la femme.

Alan

[Andrew Craig-Bennett]

Not the bilge pump, Thad old chap; they all wash their hair, and the rough coated ones use 10 gallons whilst the short hairs only need five.

Or are staying in marinas each night? In which case disregard the above.

I sail a lot with my sister; have done for 30 odd years now. She is a better seaman than I, but I am a bad guide because I would always rather singlehand than set off somewhere with someone I did not know really well.

[Ed Harrow]

Originally posted by Nicholas Carey:
...
[1] OTOH, I was once involved with a woman who seemed to feel that not only was it my duty to divein what the problem was, but also to divine (and implement) a solution to it. Not a recipe for a successful relationship.Been there on that one, in spades. A 30' boat gets mighty small, mighty fast.

You might do better to have a serial arrangement. If it doesn't work out it's only a couple of days. If it does work, well there's always (well hopefully anyway) next year.

[Tar Devil]

Been there on that one, in spades. A 30' boat gets mighty small, mighty fast. Maybe...

http://209.15.12.10/Trailer/images/uf2.jpg

Or maybe not...

http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/fd747376/bc/Boats/howboatingaccidentshappen.jpg?bcFUvs9AmiLrxjxQ

Later,

Phil

[Scott Rosen]

3) they tend to talk about issues rather than cover them up.
What's the good of that? My cruising companions don't have "issues." If they do, they won't be my cruising companions for long.

4) they tell you when they are scared or confused or overwhelmed.
My crew doesn't get scared or confused or overwhelmed because their captain doesn't get scared or confused or overwhelmed. If he does, he doesn't show it. Likewise, a good crew doesn't show it.

8) They puke when they get sea sick... not try to pretend that they aren't
I'd much rather have a crew that holds down their lunch by pretending not to be seasick than have a crew that's puking their guts out. Sea sickness is contagious, you know.

2 they look better in a bathing suit than my best friend(even "healthier" sized ones).
This is the best reason of all not to have a woman (unless you are romantically involved, or unless she's your sister, LOL). Having a good looking crew is like having a good looking secretary. It's nothing but a distraction and will take away from your enjoyment of other more substantive pleasures.

Thad, why don't you just admit it. You want to turn you boat into a babe-infested sex palace. We understand that. It's just that by trying to hide it behind the facade of "looking for a good crew" you're giving us a lot of grist for the mill.

[Wayne Jeffers]

<Sigh>

Oh, to be 26 again. ;)

Wayne

[capt jake]

http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/fd747376/bc/Boats/howboatingaccidentshappen.jpg?bcFUvs9AmiLrxjxQ <Sigh>

Oh, to be 26 again. I hear ya there, but I keep coming back to this same thread fo some reason. smile.gif

[True Love]

Thad,

A Woman's Perspective: Any 26 year old man who has the good sense to own an 80 yr old Bristol Channel Cutter is definately worth his weight in gold. In fact, it makes me think "too good to be true."

Since I'm out of your age range (47 next Monday) I'll give you my 2 cents worth -- Do you really want to spend 8 wks w/a woman you hardly know on a 30' boat? I mean, in this day and age, women who'd take you up on it have to be playing w/less than a full deck. After all, you could be a serial killer, or worse--a nerd (a stab at humor).

Seriously, take your sister or your mother or a guy if you want to have a great, relaxed time. Or, lend the boat to me for the summer and go hunt women at a Club Med.

Best regards - TL

PS: If you pull this off, remember that we all will want photos and play-by-play.

[Meerkat]

Originally posted by NormMessinger:
The pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable. Lord Chesterfield
--NormLord Chesterfield also said: "Every time I feel the urge to do something come over me, I go and lie down at once until it passes" smile.gif

[Bayboat]

Norm: Your quotation of Lord Chesterfield is probably accurate. I read it a little differently: "The pleasure is transitory, the position is ridiculous, and the results are disastrous." He apparently had little imagination. Only one position? Sounds like sour grapes to me. :D

[ 09-20-2002, 11:15 PM: Message edited by: Bayboat ]

[igatenby]

But as for recruiting crew for a cruise (in the case where sex is not the Prime Directive), We are talking about a 26 year old male here. Don't know many men in their twenties, or thirties for that matter, where it isn't the Prime Directive. Do you?

Ian

[Dave Hadfield]

Nope. And if she was on my foredeck all my pontificating on practicality would go overside.

Even at 46, if it isn't quite the Prime Directive, it's still pretty much up there.

[Bill Perkins]

My rule for crew is to try and get backpackers .They pack small , know how to make due and consider a sailboat a luxurious way to travel rather than a hardship .

[Concordia..41]

I started to save that picture and design a new Boatworks logo, but decided I'd get sued for false advertising the first day. :eek:

From the other side of the ship - so to speak, as someone who loved to crew, little boats, big boats, racing, or just getting from point A to point B, more often than not an offer to go sailing usually turned out to be more about someone wanting to show me the cabinetry details in the v-berth instead of casting off any dock lines and actually going sailing :rolleyes: Frankly guys, the overhead in the v-berth may not be as interesting as you think it is ... tongue.gif

It was in utter frustration over the whole situation that I went out and bought my own boat - a little 22' day sailer. This was all years ago, and I was working on the little boat when I met Dave, so I guess things all work out for a reason.

For the record though, I do have long hair but knew instinctively to get the hair brush, go to the stern or down wind, remove hat, brush hair, replace hat, and then clean the hair brush out. Also, not only would I have never flushed a tampon down someone's head, I was so terrified of using the head I nearly blew out a kidney on a couple of occasions.

- Margo

[Scott Rosen]

Margo,

I guess that makes you the exception that proves the rule.

[Jamie Hascall]

As someone who's just met the best crew member I can imagine (good enough to marry), I wish you good luck, don't try too hard, make contingency plans, and set the boat up for easy singlehanding. Above all, get to know anyone you plan on having as crew and maybe don't have the long trip as the bait you're dangling. I had planned on taking a cruise into the San Juans for three years running and didn't actually get to do it until this year. It wasn't what I'd hoped for at the time but in retrospect, it was worth the wait. We didn't go for too long and now are hungry to do more cruising. At 26, you've got time to let life unfold. Enjoy.

Jamie

[Wild Dingo]

I reckon its a great idea Thad mate!!... the interviews would be interesting to say the least...

Backpackers would be a great idea as Bill says as most of them... and Ive been one... really enjoy the "something different" perspective of what your offering and some mighty fine people among them too... some pretty good sorts in the sheila department too :cool:

I dont know of many women who would knowingly do as Scott reckoned some may thankfully I dont know any modesty would forbid them to...

As for the hair in the bilge scenario well the answer my friend is blowin in the wind as Margo says... explain it to her that she has to try it or do it for her she'll get the idea quick enough... nothin quite like standin at the aft end of a slowly movin sailboat brushin someones long golden tresses naked in the evenin glow... sigh... ;)

Dont make it a real issue the possiblity of romantic evenings mate let them happen as they will...

I agree though its my experience that women are the best of companions in isolated environments... in my opinion that is :rolleyes:

oooohhhh but to be a mere 26 again... sigh... let alone owning a 80 year old boat!

Enjoy yourself mate!!

Take it easy
Shane

[bud]

I must admit I recently checked out the Yahoo personals for my area. Yes, it really is that bad.
This was typical of what I came up with:

More about me:

My game is played out. I need someone to love all of me. My swerve is ON! Bootie is correct. Do you got more game than Nintendo? Well, get your Donkey Kong on, son! I like drinking 40's with my homegirls and smoke big phat Phillies. Write me back if you want to know exactly how to spank it.

Hmmm, actually I kind of admire her writing skills.

[Billy Bones]

Jeezus, where's Bob when you need him!

[Wild Dingo]

Flamin fair go mates!! You fellas gotta stop sayin you dont understand us Aussies!!

Originally posted by bud:
I must admit I recently checked out the Yahoo personals for my area. Yes, it really is that bad.
This was typical of what I came up with:

More about me:

My game is played out. I need someone to love all of me. My swerve is ON! Bootie is correct. Do you got more game than Nintendo? Well, get your Donkey Kong on, son! I like drinking 40's with my homegirls and smoke big phat Phillies. Write me back if you want to know exactly how to spank it.

Hmmm, actually I kind of admire her writing skills.You actually UNDERSTOOD that???... I mean you actually really UNDERFLAMINSTOOD THAT???... gawd stone the friggin crows mates... I gotta get me an Hamerican lingo dictionary!! :eek:

Take it easy
Shane

[Thaddeus J. Van Gilder]

OK, OK

so you guys(and girls get my point)...

yes, I do intend a trial period. weekend cruises all winter and spring.

as far as I am concerned a weekend in decenmber is a good indication of the behavior during a 95 degree August day. Either case is not the ideal.

so the important part is...

who's got a single daughter or niece?

THad tongue.gif

[Susie B]

Dear Mr. Van Gilder,

I believe that I may be a suitable candidate in your search for crew.

I am Nearly 16 years old (relatively speaking), am very friendly and of an affectionate nature. Perhaps I should go through your list of reasons for preferring female crew and tell you how I would fit in.

1) they tend to be better at varnish than I.
-I love wet varnish and will gladly spread it over everything on your boat.

2 they look better in a bathing suit than my best friend(even "healthier" sized ones).
-I don't have a bathing suit.

3) they tend to talk about issues rather than cover them up.
-What are "issues"?

4) they tell you when they are scared or confused or overwhelmed.
-I'm pretty confused all the time really.

5) they make it easier to meet women-previously mentioned, I think.
-Women always want to come over and talk to me.

6) They tend to learn to navigate quicker than men.
-I instictively know the way to the nearest food.

7) they are impressed that I shoot the sun every noon whether I need to or not.
-You shoot it, I'll bring it back.

8) They puke when they get sea sick... not try to pretend that they aren't
-I puke anytime.

9) they learn the lines quicker.
-I'll just pull on any bit of rope.

10) they don't care that I don't like outboards on dinghies-I prefer rowing.
-Who needs the dinghy anyway?

I hope this all makes me the perfect crew for you. If you want to see some pictures, go to:

http://www.byd.btinternet.co.uk/susie.htm

They were taken when I was little, but I think I still look about the same (Soem people say I am a bit more smelly though).

I look forward to hearing from you.

Big wet kisses,

Susie.

[paladin]

Thad....
I have a daughter with long red hair...good looks and figure. She's 5 foot 11 1/2 inches tall, about 135.......
graduated from a nice young ladies college and is an artist and window designed r for a major west coat store chain.

just like her mother...can't cook worth a damn...
and waits for someone else to pick up her clothes..

However...
She's an expert archer, small and large bore rifle and handgun enthusiest, absolutely deadly with the short sword or Katana, a real black belt in full contact martial arts..studied Thai kickboxing from age 12 to 16...divorced from an ex-marine who made the mistake of slapping her..he got 11 stitches, a broken collarbone and ribs, broken jaw..lost three teeth...and was disharged in poor shape from the military

She's a nice girl.....

[Thaddeus J. Van Gilder]

I usually don't let anyone else cook on my boat.
I am a relatively good cook ( I have only gotten complements- never complaints)

If it helps, I am a practicing Quaker.

[Paul]

Susie B has my vote for best response!!!

[cdragon]

Geez, Poor Thad. Here's a nice young fella with a pretty sweet sounding boat who's not afraid to post a message looking for some nice young lady to go sailing with. What the hell is wrong with that-most normal thing in the world I should think!!
Thad, the hell with all these old farts that are worried about whether women can adequately handle machinery or are too worried about relationships or whatever...I hope you find a nice girl or girls to go sailing with you and that maybe one of em (or more) becomes a good crew, or a good friend or your lover for life-who knows!!
There are, and I can personally vouch for this, beautiful, charming, intelligent women who may not have spent alot of time on yachts who will take the plunge (so to speak), step on board, and have a fine time-thereby increasing your chances of having a fine time as well!!! My lovely wife is a perfect example..
Keep on trying!! And if you have to go sailing with the boys, well, do that too!!

[cdragon]

One more thing - what does being a practising Quaker mean-not to be ignorant (guess I am) but does that mean no sex, lotsa sex, no wives, lotsa wives, only wooden boats or...!?!

[Matt J.]

If I were single - thank God I'm not - I'd first go for Susie B, then extremely politely ask Chuck if you can meet his daughter. Sorry, Chuck, any girl that can kick my ass is scary. ;) Girls like Susie B, though - can't go wrong with them.

[Scott Rosen]

Chuck's daughter wins the prize. Even without seeing her, I'd sign her on as my crew. I like a woman who won't take any crap and who can give it back better than she gets it.

She must be pretty darn good looking, because ugly women sure don't need to know how to fight and shoot. LOL

[Thaddeus J. Van Gilder]

Perhaps It's only me , but when meeting a new girls friend's father, or asking the father to meet his daughter, two things usually come up:
1) My occupation
2) My religion

I always thought that was normal.

and according to my students, being Quaker means"I eat a lot of oatmeal"

[Ian McColgin]

Being Quaker means reading lots of Jan de Hartog.

Also means that since you won't be violent, you have to be smart.

[Don Smith]

Well, well, what a bunch of ...busters! Ignore the jealous ones, Thad, and have an enjoyable, safe voyage. Just registered on the forum last night (first time I've been to any forum or chat room), and glad I did. So far it has been an educational and definately entertaining experience.

[Ed Harrow]

Originally posted by Thaddeus J. Van Gilder:
Perhaps It's only me , but when meeting a new girls friend's father, or asking the father to meet his daughter, two things usually come up:
1) My occupation
2) My religion

I always thought that was normal.

Interesting, I'd never ask a prospective date of swmbojr his religion, but I've been known to threaten to meet them at the door with a shotgun in one hand and a jar full of "marbles" I got from the vet in the other, LOL.

Chuck, your daughter reminds me of a neigbor when I was but a wee one. I'll spare you the stories, but suffice it to say her father was an instructor in the SEAL's.

[Gresham CA]

Welcome Don.

Charles Gresham

[Bayboat]

Just one example of what can happen:
Years ago a friend of mine and his brand new bride set out from San Francisco to Honolulu aboard an 18' sailboat for a honeymoon cruise. They got to the beach on Molokai with their legs so atrophied that they had to crawl for a while. Without saying goodbye, she left him on the beach with the boat, hopped a plane for Honolulu and filed for divorce.