I'm Going to St. Mary's On a Boat With No Head

[Concordia..41]

Sung to the tune I've been through the desert on a horse with no name ;)

Seriously, what do I need to know about bucket protocol? :eek:

- M

[ 04-10-2005, 06:13 AM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[John B]

" lookaway, lookaway..., lookaway...."

Do you know that tune? :D

[Concordia..41]

I'm more used to the "Eyes Forward" command (if any warning is issued) when the guys use the aft head...

[John B]

I just thought you might know a tune to go with those words. ;)

But seriously, Siandra has a weighted canvas curtain attached to the hatchcover for privacy and a nice little lid for the bucket. Very efficient.
I'd imagine the boat you're on will have something similar.

[Concordia..41]

Different boat - same model - feel free to click on the picture titled "head" :eek:

http://www.yachtworld.com/core/listing/pl_boat_detail.jsp?currency=USD&units=Feet&checked_boats=1159760&slim=quick&

But my question is to protocol - obviously one dumps one's bucket post use right? What does one say as one walks said bucket aft? redface.gif Is the bucket ignored? Is small talk expected? Maybe a slight joke? Oh brother.... :eek:

[ 04-28-2005, 06:44 PM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[Dave R]

That's a new one on me. I've never seen a shop vac used as a head. :D

[ssor]

Those plastic bags you get when you buy groceries fit inside a five gallon bucket quite nicely. if you double bag each load and place it in a separate bucket then it may be enptied in the dumpster upon arrival. But don't pitch the plastic bags over the side. :D

[rbgarr]

Margo-

I've done the following on my boat, which has no head either.

This will sound strange or comical, but I'm serious. There are biodegradable opaque plastic bags that can be used as liners for five gallon buckets. I got a roll of them and an inflatable toilet seat that fits on top of the bucket at West Marine, but it was a long time ago and I don't recall seeing them anywhere lately.

Line the bucket, put the seat on the top, use at leisure and twist-tie the bag closed, leaving room for the next person to put another bag in on top when it comes their turn. Don't forget the toilet paper which can also be purchased in biodegradable 'format'. Having a lid for the five gallon bucket is nice, too.

You could throw the bag and contents overboard, but I prefer to dispose of it ashore.

[htom]

You dip a couple of inches of seawater into the bucket before using it.

[Wild Dingo]

aarrgghhh ye be a foin sailor sheila ifn whens ye dos ye doins in ta bucket ye say da followin... aye tis the true pirates way!

Stand on deck...

Feet firmly planted...

In yer loudest stongest voice...

As yer hoist the doins over the side yell...

"SHITEHO!!"

Protocol?? Aboard ship when usin the bucket?? I mean Margo COME ON!! Yer use the flamin bucket woman!! shyness is unbecomin on a boat you know that were all mates!... no room for coy shy sheilas aboard ship you know girly!... mind you could always sing somethin like...

"Yo ho ho an Im shittin on the bucket Yo ho ho an Im makin a smell {puddle whatever} so you bedda beware Yo ho ho"

But for gettin rid of the doins... "SHITEHO!!" followed closely by "DUCKHO!!"... probably followed even more closely by "OOOHHHSHITEHO!!!" followed by a manic race to the end of the bowsprit as the capn now a darkish color instead of his usual whitish color steams up deck after you... :eek:

[ChuckG]

For carrying and storage, you may find something useful at REI (http://www.rei.com/category/4500612.htm?vcat=REI_SEARCH) (search for "waste bags") or some similar place.

Sometimes there is nothing to be done but be earthy and frank - that's what makes everybody most comfortable. The skipper has a role in facilitating his crew's comfort as well.

A million years ago, as the bottom half of a two man crew on a small Alaskan fishing boat, I spent 24 hours on the boat with the skipper's mother in law and sister in law. They took over the fo'c'sle, but there was no plumbing down there (we used the deck bucket). I will swear that neither of those women answered the call of nature for that entire 24 hours. They must have been in agony. But as the lowly deckhand, there was no way I was going say anything.

cg

[ssor]

Remember !!! pitch it over the LEE rail. :D

[mmd]

Margo, presuming that:

* you are in an offshore passage and not in sheltered bay, anchorage, or marina
* there are no anti-sewage overboard rules in your voyaging waters
* your sailing comerades understand that modesty is effective when all understand honourable discretion

I would consider that the etiquete would be as follows:

* fit what privacy screens are necessary and practical
* draw a bit of seawater in the bucket as if getting water for the galley sink
* upon returning to the head with the wetted bucket, announce quietly to those who may be in sightline of the head that you'd like to have a few moments of privacy
* attend to the business at hand
* return the seawater from whence it came, including interest, at the lowest point of the sheer on the lee side
* rinse the bucket several times and lash it to the rail forward or at extreme aft (depending on where it is tastefully away from the watch) to dry off for twenty minutes or so
* return the bucket to its normal stowage

If your crewmates are any sort of sailors, they will take notice of and remark upon this process as much as they would take notice of your preparing vegetables for dinner and subsequently dropping the slops overboard - in other words, a quick glance to confirm the safety of a crewmate at the rail, then back to their previous attentions. Any more dialogue that that opens the offender to comments about their polliwog status as a true sailor.

[Steve Lansdowne]

'Tis a tribute to the good feelings among Forumites that you felt comfortable posting this "sensitive" topic for all the world to see!

[paladin]

rumor has it that 85% of male bodies recovered from 'man overboard' situations had their fly open or pants down......

[Concordia..41]

You guys are such guys and such funny ones at that! ;) You're also the best! smile.gif

I had a ride on a Hinkley for the race, but that didn't come through. This might not be a go either, but we'll see. Our charts are somewhere other than where I can find them, but I'm thinking it's about a 10 hour passage. By my calculations, I'll have to pee exactly twice. And now that I know bucket protocol, I'm all set :cool:

- M

[ 04-26-2005, 08:59 PM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[skuthorp]

It all sounds better than a plank with a hole and a big cleat slung over the stern that I had to use on overnight races on our bay!
:D :eek:

[igatenby]

For "number ones" a perfectly adequate pissaphone can be constructed these days from a PET coke bottle - just cut the bottom off and use the top half - easy to slosh out the porthole too.

[John B]

quick looking boat there Margo. you'll have a fun ride.

[paladin]

uh Margo....
I have a spare baby Blake in the hideout I can loan ya...but it's gotta come back as clean as it went.......already boxed and ready to ship in case i need it somewhere....

[Mike Field]

.
I'm Going to St. Mary's On a Boat With No Head Margo, if you're going on a boat that's leaving its head behind, perhaps the simplest solution would be for you to leave your, um, tail behind?
smile.gif
.

[diggergilks]

Sorry, but I've so enjoyed reading all the posts on this lovely topic, it's reminded me of life on the Mekong River thirty odd years ago. The ship was a Navy Transport we had gifted to the VN's and like an LST it carried a stern anchor hung over the back that was to be dropped when running the ship up onto a beach. Theoretically if the botswain didn't get shot during the landing and was able to engage the winch, the anchor was supposed to pull the ship off the sand. Anyway, the point is this anchor hanging off the stern also served as a very convenient "head". The technique was to lower yourself down onto one of the horizontal flukes, squat over the river below, and grip the shaft of the anchor with your right hand while you tended to business. GI's and VN's alike took their turns perched on the stern anchor. Until one evening during anti-sapper maneuvers an overzealous VN sailor tossed a concussion grenade off the bow of the ship. The swiftly flowing Mekong current carried the grenade aft under the ship where it exploded right beneath the stern anchor! Those of us standing around on deck were very surprised when the bomb when off so close to the ship, but not nearly so surprised as the poor seaman who was using the stern anchor head just at that moment. He came flying up over the rail with this wild look on his face, his pants half masted and ....scared to death. It's one thing to somehow postpone nature's call for 24 hours or so, but this poor guy never went again for the duration of the cruise!
As to the bucket protocol...has anyone thought of checking with the authority on the subject? L. Francis Herrischoff? Wasn't it he who so poetically described the use and advantage of the cedar bucket aboard a modest cruising craft?
Fair winds,
Digger

[NormMessinger]

Jeanna Yeager was in Voyager about seven days in a space to small for a bucket. Hmmmm?

[paladin]

i betcha that wuz one smelly flight suit.....

[Concordia..41]

So the race is tomorrow, and at the yacht club tonight when it came out that I was crewing on Hot Flash - every EVERY single person responded with "Oh" or sometimes "OHHHH"

At one point, a mutual friend leaned over and said, "You know there's a bucket right?"

Well, I light up and proceed to tell him - yes, as a matter of fact, I know there's a bucket and not only do I know there's a bucket, but I have asked for and recieved an education in bucket protocol courtesy of the Wooden Boat Forum. :D :D

From the startled/dazed/confused look on his face, I guess that wasn't the answer he was expecting ;)

So before we can talk bucket details, a couple walks up and after the introductions and the standard, "Oh" the gal immediately offers, "You know there's a bucket?" I felt like grabbing the mike and telling everyone in the room - YES! I KNOW THERE'S A BUCKET!!!!

So anyway: a) it's not a big deal; and b) I'll manage.

A friend is going to get some pictures as we make the bridge and head for the start. I don't know if she'll have time to scale the picture-posting learning curve, but I'll try to leave some instructions to e-mail the pics to one of our champion picture posters.

I'll be back late Saturday.

Cheers!
- M

[ 04-24-2005, 10:08 AM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[Mike Field]

.
Good on you, Margo. Have a great time.
.

[nedL]

:D GOOD LUCK Margo!!!! smile.gif

[Ken Hutchins]

With the recommendations of the WB Forum and your confidence I'm sure you will have a great trip. smile.gif smile.gif But, on a boat named HOT FLASH :D :D ?

[paladin]

Best of luck.....

[Paulyboy]

Pitch it overboard, huh? Into the ocean, blue? I just hope 40 years ago when I used to swim in the waters around Bristol, Rhode Island, that that wasn't the practice.

[Nora Lee]

YOU GO GIRL...Hot Flash and ALL!

Surely with a woman like you, and a boat with that name, you and your crew should lead the pack!

;)

Regards,

Nora Lee

[ 04-22-2005, 05:31 AM: Message edited by: Nora Lee ]

[Ken Hutchins]

just hope 40 years ago when I used to swim in the waters around Bristol, Rhode Island, that that wasn't the practice. 40 years ago there was possibly houses with direct pipes into the waters in RI, who knows there might still be a few. Some of the municipal sewer systems dump millions of gallons of untreated sewage into the waters during runoff from heavy rain storms. Do you think ALL the boats today have heads and holding tanks? How about the hundreds of small boats that people spend all day on, I'll bet they bucket and chuckit. How many jetskis out there, do you think they go ashore when they have to pee? Yes it was being done 40 years ago around Bristol and it's still being done today. The small boat problem is miniscule compared to the municipal problems. Some of the municipal systems have been fixed and the concern for water quality has decreased illegal dumping so it is not as bad today as it was 40 years ago. This is not a situation unique to RI it is every where.

[TomF]

Yup - happens everywhere. Victoria BC is a noxious case in point.

t.

[Chris Stewart]

Originally posted by Ken Hutchins:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> just hope 40 years ago when I used to swim in the waters around Bristol, Rhode Island, that that wasn't the practice. 40 years ago there was possibly houses with direct pipes into the waters in RI, who knows there might still be a few. Some of the municipal sewer systems dump millions of gallons of untreated sewage into the waters during runoff from heavy rain storms. Do you think ALL the boats today have heads and holding tanks? How about the hundreds of small boats that people spend all day on, I'll bet they bucket and chuckit. How many jetskis out there, do you think they go ashore when they have to pee? Yes it was being done 40 years ago around Bristol and it's still being done today. The small boat problem is miniscule compared to the municipal problems. Some of the municipal systems have been fixed and the concern for water quality has decreased illegal dumping so it is not as bad today as it was 40 years ago. This is not a situation unique to RI it is every where.</font>[/QUOTE]Not to mention the whales, seals, birds, fish, crabs, etc. Where do you think they "go?" Kinda like W. C. Fields reason for not drinking water. ;)

[Concordia..41]

Got home about 10 p.m., but for once things like hot food, a hot shower, and a soft bed took precedence over the Forum.

I'm off and running to try and knock off a few dozen things, so Monday doesn't hit me square between the eyes.

It was a great trip - details at 11 ;)

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid166/p261a5635a77e4e62b5eaf982d8b8c917/f45105f7.jpg

[ 04-28-2005, 08:37 AM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[Hwyl]

Originally posted by Concordia..41:

It was a great trip - details at 11 ;) The scatalogically obsessed amongst us are waiting for pictures.

[Ken Hutchins]

We are, we are! smile.gif

[Concordia..41]

OK, since it is the basis of this thread – first
The Bucket

We’d finished the leg in fine time – 7 hours and 26 minutes (53.6 nm) :D - but more about that if I can find time.

It was somewhere between 3 and 4 a.m., and Steve sat down beside me in the cockpit and quietly said that if I need to use the bucket, he’d rigged a curtain up forward. He even offered that I could hand the bucket up to him and he’d do the ‘yellow martini overboard’ drill. redface.gif

Honestly, I really hadn’t thought about it until then, and I figured we couldn’t be too far from the marina. A bit later I ended up going below for something else, and while the curtain bore a strong resemblance to a sail bag, it was obvious Steve gone to some effort to make me feel comfortable.

I resumed my spot in the cockpit, but since the marina was nowhere in sight, and since Steve had gone to the trouble to set up a curtain, and since everyone here was so kind and eager to offer bucket suggestions, as much out of obligation as need, I figured “what the heck.”

Well I go forward and get all organized, and situated, and what not, and all of a sudden – kerwock! We’re stopped!

Now I realize there’s never a really good time to run aground, but I considered this to be really poor timing on the helmsman’s part, and I believe the look on my face as I went aft conveyed same. :rolleyes:

Seriously, no harm, no foul, no spillage, and no damage.

All of us here love our wooden boats, but there is something to be said for hydraulic keels and blade rudders that lift right up with a good tug! And I’m not implying we went aground more than once, but let’s just say that things went up and things went down and things went up and things went down…

Even more seriously, I was obviously worried about the whole business for nothing. As our third day wound to a close and we made our way back to St. Augustine, I reached a point of comfortableness that I’d tell whoever had the helm, “If you think you could maybe not run aground for a couple of minutes, I’m going forward to do the bucket thing…” :D

Thanks all!
-M

[ 04-28-2005, 06:32 PM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[John B]

good pace Margo, but it doesn't sound if there was a heck of a lot of wind?
looking forward to the rest of the story.

[Concordia..41]

I'm working on it now, but we had wind in spades. For the ride home it was down to just three of us (two if you count me :rolleyes: ...) We started the second race running just a reefed main.

'Twas interesting (and good experience) that's for sure.

- M

[ 04-28-2005, 06:59 PM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[seayou77]

St. Marys, Ga is the sub base for the SE. I understand the breakwater juts out to sea. But if you bumped the bottom would this be a good port for a Concordia?

[Concordia..41]

Our knack for finding thin water occured post-race as we were going up the St. Marys River to the marina - sans depth gauge. :rolleyes:

Once we fell in behind a couple of other boats there was no problem, and there were a half-dozen shrimp boats on the adjoining dock, so there's plenty of water - we just weren't in it...

[ 04-28-2005, 06:48 PM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[Ken Hutchins]

Well I'm guessing that this was a learning experience and that this experience will be duely noted for when the time comes for outfitting SARAH. smile.gif

NECESSARY ITEMS;
1. head
2. depth gage with warning alarm placed so it will be heard while using item #1
3. charts for area to be sailed.

[John B]

ahh.. it was on the wind then...

[Concordia..41]

The Race
To a degree, all of you know me through my stories, and as the years have passed, I’ve met many of you in person. But what I want to emphasize here is that I have very little sailing experience. I own several boats, work on them and others all the time, but have very little actual on-the-water time when it comes right down to it.

The search function was acting up when I was looking for it, but somewhere in the archives is a tongue-in-cheek piece I wrote a couple of years ago the first time I went out on the HC 50 Hunter’s Child II.

seayou77 in particular has seen one of my panic attacks first hand

So to find myself signed on as crew on an SR 33 left me spending my days chanting the mantra – I am so screwed – what was I thinking!

Then, of course, there’s the bucket complication. There’s also the fact that if you look at me sideways, I get seasick. Also, the more nervous I am, the more likely I am to get sick. If any of you followed the story of the Miami delivery, I didn’t eat for a day and a half beforehand because I was so nervous I knew I’d be barfing my guts up before we left the dock.

So it’s the day of the race and we’re getting the boat together. Turns out there’s a total of four of us (which counting me means three) to race. We head out to the line and as we make the cut, I pulled my hair up into my Concordia smile.gif hat and felt behind my ear and realized my Scopolamine patch had fallen off. Didn’t bring any extras – did I mention damn I’m screwed? :eek:

Well there wasn’t much time to worry about it as the jockeying for the line began in earnest. A decade ago, I did some one-design racing, so I’m not quite as clueless as I advertise. My general plan was to listen attentively for instructions, be helpful when possible, and stay out of the way as necessary.

We nailed the start and by the look on one guy’s face as he crossed our bow(sprint), he won’t be trying that again any time soon. :D

It was a 7 p.m. start with a heck of a ride up the coast. There were some interesting nighttime activities – including a series of jibes and an inside spinnaker set. And remember the movie Dances with Wolves??? - We did this thing called Dances with Casino Boats!!! Anyway, even overpowered and underhanded it was good, and fun, and interesting, and really cool!

We finished well, but as the sun rose Friday morning, the lobbying and protests started. I’m well aware in this level of racing some consider an effective protest equal to proper mark rounding and nailing the start, but it’s certainly not a part of sportsmanship IMHO. :(

Throughout the fray, I subscribed to the ‘better to be silent and thought dumb’ theory and believe I may have a natural aptitude for same. :D

As the day wore on, it became obvious that any WBF quotes on what makes a man a yachtsman would be a waste of breath, but I had a full arsenal of comments on sportsmanship that I planned to fire from the hip at the first opportunity. Friday night we ended up getting provisions and skipped the get together, so I didn’t get to share my thoughts on sportsmanship (probably for the best).

Saturday morning I’d planned to wear the race t-shirt for the start, but in my own personal statement of defiance I wore my dirty Wooden Boat Show t-shirt instead. It’s not like it showed under all the layers, or that anyone would give a rat’s behind, but it gave me some satisfaction to look at them and think – ‘yeah, I’d rather wear a dirty Wooden Boat t-shirt than your rag.’ tongue.gif

Saturday morning I had to get the rental car turned in and but for Claudia doing 60 mph down Main Street, I would have missed the boat. But she got me to the marina in time, and I ended up steering part of the way out to the line while Steve and Don got things in order.

Don helmed, Steve trimmed, and we nailed the start. Since we crossed about 5’ off the stern of the committee boat, I flashed them a 36-grit smile as we went by. (36-grit smile = a smile 36-grit sandpaper wouldn’t take off) :cool:

Racers reading this know the drill – the parade out to the start, the not-so-gentle jockeying, the push for the line, the start, and then the check-out-what-everyone-is-doing phase. In the check-out-what-everyone-is-doing phase, I was positioned as our one and only piece of rail meat. I’m sure there’s some kind of implication when folks nudge their neighbor and point, but I just looked back at them all like ‘yeah so what ‘cha looking at you bunch of rail apes?’

It was a flying ride down the coast, but we just didn’t have enough weight. I think it was blowing 15-20 with gusts close to 30. When I was researching the SR 33's (BTW - SR = Serious Racer), I came across some PHRF info that gave a crew limit of nine! :eek:

We were seriously under crewed, but you do what you can with what you’ve got, and the three of us was what we had, so I just hung out on the rail and enjoyed the ride. As they were about the same weight, we’d named the life raft after Claudia, and “she” spent the race strapped to the starboard settee. That was as good as it got for ballast.

Imagestation Album (http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2127521140)

- M

[ 04-28-2005, 06:50 PM: Message edited by: Concordia..41 ]

[Ken Hutchins]

smile.gif smile.gif smile.gif smile.gif

[Hwyl]

Great pictures, thank you. I must do some more racing.

[nedL]

:D Great story Margo!!!! It sounds like you had a fantastic time & were a real asset! Oh, & about that sea sick stuff, it happens to lots of us ;)

[S/V Laura Ellen]

rumor has it that 85% of male bodies recovered from 'man overboard' situations had their fly open or pants down......

An acquaintance from the CCG confirmed this to be factual (or close to that percentage).