norfolk broads wherry "hathor"

[beaky]

hi peeps

ive been attempting to show you some pictures of norfolk broads boats. i have not been able to master attachments yet, but i have managed to put up an avatar
of the inside of "hathor" a norfolk broads wherry.

ludite jill

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

How Do?, and welcome to the wacky world of wooden boat.

I'd like to see some more piccies of hawthor - the usual way of displaying them is to store the pics on one of the popular photohosting sites, I use "Photobucket" but there are others.

using a picture of a puppy as an example.
Once the picture is on the web it has an address like
http://s35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/DougReid/Gnaw.jpg

this needs wrapped in img tags - {img}address{/img} but with square brackets [] rather than curly {}.
Thus:
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d165/DougReid/Gnaw.jpg

[Hwyl]

Please persevere, I'd like to see the pictures too.

Here's one
http://www.wherryyachtcharter.org/images/hathor.jpg

[rbgarr]

One of the most amusing books I've ever read about cruising was about a charter party on a Norfolk Broads wherry and their adventures on the waters there.

Don't know what I did with the book.

[Thorne]

I've toured the Broads by car, and would love to do it on a rental boat someday. And (sad person that I am) I have all of Ransome's books and even _Coot Club_ and _The Big Six_ on DVD...bought from our kind hosts at WoodenBoat, of course.

http://www.woodenboatstore.com/images/35043s.jpg

Here's how to post images -

First - don't attach photos. Most web forums don't allow it, and space
limitations are the main reason why.

Second - Instead of attaching them to a thread, post the pics on the web
somewhere. You have a free website area with any paid ISP's email account,
or use www.picturetrail.com or other free hosting service. Once posted on
the web, right-click the image to copy the URL (web address). Always test
first by pasting the image URL into the window of a web browser and see if
the image displays.

Remember, the IMAGE URL will end in .jpg, not .htm or html. URLs ending in .htm are the page that the image is at, not the image location itself.

Third - once posted on the web, try this procedure while logged in to this
Forum:

1. Click the "User CP" link in the browser window in the top left of the
menu bar.
2. Click the "Edit Options" link about 1/4 of the way down the left column.
3. In the "Misc Options" at the bottom of the next page, select "Enhanced
Interface" from the pulldown list.
4. Once this interface has been selected, in any "Reply" window you can
click the "insert photo" icon --> a little yellow square icon with the stamp
in the upper right corner, the mountains in the lower center.
5. Once the little dialog box titled "Please enter the URL of your image"
comes up, paste the URL of the photo in the field.

If unsure of the procedure, test first by pasting the image URL into the
window of a web browser.

[John Meachen]

Welcome to a relative neighbour.

[beaky]

hi peeps

i really am a dunce at this stuff but i will manage eventialy, this site is a lot different to the site i use here.
i thought you might enjoy this little tale of the first day in the life of a novice broads hire boater, that was posted on the broads site. it comes in eight parts.
Part One

It is time for the start of your first holiday on the Norfolk Broads. The car is loaded, the crew, plus dog, are ready for the off!

You arrive at the boatyard. Park the car and clutching all your documents you proceed to the reception area.

“Hello, my name is Mr Pearson”
“Hi, now let me see, you are on Tranquil Moments”
Is that an omen or what!
The receptionist brings out a form.
“Is this your first time on the river Mr Pearson?”
“Well I did have a trip on a boating lake at Lowestoft several years back, but I suppose that doesn’t count”
“Er, not really” as she surreptitiously ticks a box on the booking form.
The receptionist adopts a superior manner.
“Car parking undercover is £10.00, Outside is £5.00 and Diving Insurance is also £5.00”.
You can’t help but think that Inshore Life Boat Insurance would be more appropriate, what the hell is Diving Insurance all about – anyway you pay.

The receptionist smiles benevolently. “I’m afraid that your boat is not quite ready at the moment”, as she accepts your total payment.
Your stomach lurches. You have that sinking feeling that all is not well!
“ It will be about an hour, perhaps you would like to pop into Stalham”
“No problem – I’ll be back in an hour”

An hour soon passes and you present yourself to reception yet again. All is well the boat is ready!!!

With family, you proceed along the quay, and there she is Tranquil Moments, moored stern on, looking immaculate. You open the door, the boat is spotless.

“Right Mother, get the kettle on, and I and the boys will unload the car”
Feverish activity takes place as boxes and cases are taken from the car and placed on the boat.
“Darling”
“What, you can see I’m busy”
“There’s no water – the taps don’t work”
“You’re joking”
“No I’m not. Nothing works.
“ I can’t believe it – I’ll speak to the man.”

You decide to get the dog on board (it’s name is Mafeking due to the fact that it all ways wants to relieve itself)
Mafeking stands on the aft deck, mortified, Refuses to budge, Dogs feet do not like decks of boats. There is only one remedy, a quick boot up the rear, an undignified scramble in the well of the steps. One problem resolved.

Salvation is at hand. The trial run driver appears.
His name is Darren (All first born, in Norfolk, in the mid 1980’s were called Darren)
Darren is 20. During his informative years, from 14 to 19 he used to converse in Neanderthalian grunts to his elders. Now, having mastered the art of conversation, he finds it necessary to end each sentence, or comment with the word “right” This gives him confidence that he has been understood.

“Hi, my name is Darren. Right”
“You’re ready for you trial run. Right”
“ Yes – were ready”
“Tell him about the taps darling”
“I will, I will”
Darren gives a knowing smile. (I’m starting to “warm” towards him already)

………………………… might be continued – right!!

jill

[beaky]

hi peeps

i hope i havent put the above post in the wrong thread.
if i have please feel free to delete or move it.

jill

[StevenBauer]

There is no one here to move threads around. We're on our own, really. Looking forward to parts 2 - 8, though. :D

Steven

[beaky]

a day in the life of a novice broads hire boater

Part Two

The family is on the boat. The Trial Run Driver, Darren, Gods Gift to Blakes, has arrived and has been presented with the first problem. No water!

“Have you turned the pump on mate?”
“The Pump? What pump?
“The Water Pump”
Darren takes that as a no, and strides purposefully towards the middle cabin. He points down towards to what ostensibly looks like a light switch.
“There you are – it’s off - right”
He switches to the on position. Immediately the sound of running water, from all the taps heralds whoops of delight from Mrs P.
Darren, flushed with success, details the GRAND PLAN.
“First I’ll show the outside of the Boat – Right”
“Then the inside – Right”
“Then we will go up river – Right”
“Sounds good to me – Right”....................................... You can’t believe you said that.

On the deck Darren explains the fixtures and fittings:
“This is the toilet pump out fitting – where they pump the toilet from”
“I see. How often do you have to do that then?”
Darren makes eye contact for the first time.
“Depends on how regular you all are”
“How do you know when it’s full?”
“Don’t worry about it. Over breakfast one morning it will be the topic of conversation, then will be the time”.

You both progress further along the deck.
Darren points a foot clad in a somewhat neglected trainer at the next deck fitting.
“That’s the diesel filler cap – you don’t have to worry about that, you have enough fuel to circumnavigate the broads for three weeks” (You don’t believe him)

The next fitting is examined after a suitable pause.
“This is your water filler cap. The water goes into the Wonder Tank”
“The Wonder Tank Eh!” You wait with bated breath, what technological marvel will be disclosed.
“It’s called the Wonder Tank because all week you will wonder how much you have got in it”
“Er! Has it not got a gauge or something? “
Darren looks at you as if you are demented.
“No, just keep it topped up”
The conversation regarding this particular subject seems to be finished.

“Well that’s the outside bit, we’ll go inside and I’ll show you some more, and then we will go up river”

A ripple of excitement runs through the crew. ……………….to be continued?

jill

[beaky]

hi peeps
this is a link for some piccies of broads wherrys
http://www.horning.org.uk/stylegallery.php?page=wherry&menu=style4

[Thorne]

More story! Nice pics, too...

[Steve Paskey]

Great story, Beaky. And I'm always delighted on those rare occasions when the talk here turns to Norfolk Wherrys.

I own a rather unusual treasure that might interest you, purchased at an antique shop in the U.S. ... the original name boards from the pleasure wherry "Dragon" out of Wroxham, built in 1903.

She was for hire at least through the 20s, was owned by a yachtsman during the 50s, and served as a houseboat in the 60s before she was deliberately sunk as part of a jetty. I don't have a clue how the name boards made their way to this country.

[beaky]

thanks for your welcome and encouragement folks.
i was in awe of the quality of the photos on this site.
next episode to follow soon.

left hand down a bit

jill

[Presuming Ed]

One of the most amusing books I've ever read about cruising was about a charter party on a Norfolk Broads wherry and their adventures on the waters there.

You might be thinking of "The Art of Coarse Sailing" by Michael Green? Not about a wherry holiday, but about a holiday on classic broads cruisers. Along with the follow up "The Art of Coarse Cruising", IMHO, the only two really funny books about sailing.

Definition of a coarse sailor - one who, in an emergency, forgets all his terminology and shouts "For God's sake, turn left!"

[Hwyl]

IMHO, the only two really funny books about sailing.




You must have read "Sod's law of the sea", peculiarly British, but hilarious.

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

No Mike Peyton fans?

[beaky]

a quick glimps of the broads

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq7MEOl5PhQ&feature=related

jill

[beaky]

hi peeps

Part Three

Darren has sorted out the water problem and concluded the tour of the decks. It is now time to explain the inside of your craft. You follow respectively and enter the aft cabin.

Darren opens a door on the left handside, which to all intents and purposes looks like a cupboard. It resembles a Tardus. Inside there is a shower and a toilet. The former being self explanatory is summarily dismissed. The toilet however requires closer examination. On this boat it was installed by Roger, one of the tallest men in Norfolk. Subsequently this particular variant has been designed in such a way that all who patronise it find themselves perched about three feet up in the air.

You both gaze into the bowl. Your first impression is that such a contraption defies all known logic.
Darren breezily explains :
“When you have finished, close the lid” (………………think about it)
“You then reach out to the back here, over the bowl ................(have you closed the lid?).......... turn this valve on, turn that valve off, pump the handle briskly for a couple of minutes, turn the valve off – and there you have done it. Or not, as the case may be!”
You make a mental note to use shore toilets whenever possible.

“Now for the engine”
“I’ll follow you Darren”

Surprisingly Darren enters the middle cabin. Followed by you, the dog, and the children.
“OK you guys, there is not enough room for us all in here”
“Oh Daaaad”
“No. Out of it. Go and feed the ducks or something.”
Darren folds back the mattress and removes a wooden panel. Lo and behold the engine!!!
“Phew! What an awful smell”
Darren looks a bit phased. “Can’t understand it. Must be the bilge. I’ll put some Bilge Sweetner down – that will cure it”

Mafeking rolls his eyes towards the ceiling, with a baleful stare, and with tail between his legs sneaks out of the cabin.

You notice that the engine is made by some chap called Perky from Peterborough, Darren by this time is engrossed in explaining, dip sticks, water filters and a thing called a header tank. You nod solemnly.

“Right – that’s the engine bit, now I’ll show you how to start the beastie up.”
You follow Darren to the Bridge. Well. It’s not really a bridge, more a panel with a few dials and a wheel in front of it.

“That’s the rev counter – shows you how fast you are going.”
You attention is drawn to a conversion chart, and relates revs to miles per hour.
(in practice this instrument is as much use as an ash tray on a motor bike.)
“When you start the boat first of all take it out of gear by pulling this little silver button out – like so. Now turn the key to the heat position for one minute, then turn to the start position like so.”
Perky at the back, groans and grunts like a geriatric threshing machine.
And then, when all seems lost, Perky rallies and with a triumphant cough splutters into life, and it must be said, goes from strength to strength.

“I think that we are ready to go up river” Says Darren, having recovered his composure.
“I’ll undo the ropes”
“Let me do it Dad”
“No. You can do it next time”
“Oh Daaaaad”!
“Don’t worry your Father – you can see he is a bit stressed.”
“Yes Mother”

(This stress will pale into insignificance as the day progresses)
………………………………to be continued.

jill

[beaky]

Part Four

Darren, having completed the tour of the inside of the boat is ready to “go down river” as the final part of the trial run.

Darren expertly manoeuvred the boat out of the mooring and nonchalantly stood at the wheel.
“You keep to the right hand side of the river and remember to keep the revs down – now if you’d like to have a go”
You hang onto the wheel as if you were on a white knuckle ride.
“Very good – just ease it to the left a bit, not too much. Now to the right a bit.
Thankfully the river is straight at this bit.
You progress down river, with Darren offering words of comfort.
“Now I’ll show you how to turn the boat round. No, stay at the wheel and I will talk you through it”
“Slow down, a little more reverse, that’s it. Turn the wheel over to the right. Now, gently push the throttle forward – can you see the stern coming round”

You daren’t look.

“Now a bit in reverse – not to much – we don’t want to hit the bank do we? Ha! Ha! Ha!” – and now forward. There we are we’ve done it.”
You bristle with pride, you cannot believe how easy and how professionally you achieved that which looked impossible.
(You will remember this moment at St Olaves a few days later!)
Before you knew it you were back at the boat yard where Darren showed you how to moor side on to the bank.
“If you would like to turn the engine off, sign the completion form and away you can go”
You turn the engine off……………… Perky continues to burble contentedly.

“Er, how do you stop it?”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll show you, Follow me”
You follow Darren into the middle cabin whereupon he pulls at a button on the side of the wall. Perky gasps, stops, starts again and then with a shudder all is quite and still.
The form is signed.
“Right then “I’ll cast you off”
Darren starts the engine, jumps off the boat, and unties the ropes fore and aft.
He pushes the bows out with his foot.
“Have a nice time”
We will, we will. Byeeeeeeee.
You push the throttle forward. Perky builds up the revs.
The boat doesn’t move an inch. A bit more revs. Soon Perky is wailing like a banshee.

“NO, I don’t want a beer”

“Darling, Darren said “Put it in gear”

Oh!
The boat lurches forward, just missing the moored boat in front, the stern gives the side a resounding thump. Well at least it straightened the boat up. You wrestle with the wheel, trying to save some composure.
“SLOW DOWN YOU B@*$T>D” Woolly Hat, attired in a disgusting overall, emerges from his boat clutching a paint brush. His lap, embraced a large puddle of black paint - a sporran of thick viscous foul smelling anti foul.

You duly oblige,legs shaking, you proceed down the river - slowly.
"Daddy, Daddy - what is a Bustard?

"It's a bird - now shut up and help your mother.

To be continued…………………


jill

[beaky]

hi peeps
for anyone out there interested in a holiday on the broads this is a new idea that has been resently launched
http://www.broadlandboatsales.com/keyholderscheme.htm

http://www.poshboats.co.uk/ £2500 for 7 days at the high season
jill

[J. Dillon]

Keep going Beaky. I like the way you can put a humorous touch to your writing.:D

Gee I always thought Norfolk broads were wimmin. ;)

JD

[beaky]

hi jd
sorry to disillusion you but if i could write like that i would also be writing my life aboard story. the tale is nicked from a broads site for your enjoyment.
just wanted to pass on the pleasure as i loved it to
p.s. i am an aged broad lol

jill

[J. Dillon]

beaky,

22 years living aboard ... there's many a yarn in there. Pick one , say about how you weathered some of the winter storms aboard. We've been hearing about some of them in the last few years.:eek: But your choice.

JD

[Wooden Boat Fittings]

.
Jill, your real name isn't Mrs Barrable by any chance, is it?

Mike

[beaky]

hi mike

rings no bells with me, sorry

jill

[beaky]

hi peeps

Part Five

The Trial Run has finished The Maiden Voyage for the family has just started.

After about two minutes you realise that your boat has all the handling characteristics of a super market shopping trolley. You turn to the left, to the right, to the left. It refuses to go straight. No matter what you do the thing has a mind of it’s own. You desperately battle with the wheel as the boat zigzags down the River Ant.
A large branch, hanging over the river looms into your vision, frantically you turn the wheel, you just cannot believe that you have managed to miss it.

You didn’t, a resounding crash from the blunt end says otherwise.

“Dad, Dad”
“WHAT”
“We’ve lost the mop”

………………….………………………….”give me strength”

“It’s Ok Dad, it’s fallen onto the back”

This trauma seems to have the desired effect – bit like a cure for hiccups. You find to your amazement that the boat steers perfectly well without constantly turning the wheel. The crew, and more importantly yourself, start to settle down.
After about ten minutes of calm, it is decided that a stop for a cup of tea would be good.

“That looks a nice place to moor”
“No problem, I’ll get in as close as I can and you can tie her up”
The boat closes in on the bank.
“Right, jump, go on jump”
The boat hits the bank and bounces away from the bank about three feet.

“Tie it up then”
“What with?”
“The Rope
“What Rope”
“Quick you boys throw your Mother a rope”
“Daaaaaaaaaaaad it’s fallen in the water”
“Where’s your Mother?”
“On the bank”

A wave of nausea descends at the thought of a week of one disaster after another. They were not made for boating – a caravan would have been ideal. More appropriate. A static one would be good.

You manage to turn the boat round and jam the bows into the bank at last the bows are secured.

“Hurry, hurry, the back end is coming out”
Mother just mangers to catch the last four inches of the stern rope.

“Whew! That was exciting. Get the kettle on Mother”
The kettle soon boils and the crew gathers round the wobbly table with one leg shorter that the other.

Mother dutifully pores the tea from an incontinent tea pot which drips over simply everything. Soon you are munching into chocolate covered Hob Nobs. Life is good.

A little Coot, ever the opportunist, bobs its way towards you.
“Can I feed the ducks Dad”
“Of course you can”

Authors note

Contrary to popular belief (and Bill Oddie) there are only three types of bird to be found on the Norfolk Broads.
LBJ’s, the BBJ’s and the Duck.

The LBJ’s are little brown jobbies. The BBJ’s are big brown jobbies.
Ducks are things that float on the water.
They come in various sizes, and the big ones are called geese.
Some people call ducks Mallard’s.
Mallard’s are easy to recognise.
(a) They eat copious quantities of bread.
(b) They quack a lot.
(c) They spend an inordinate amount of time engaged in an activity, which for the sake of those of young and tender years, is best described by saying “I think they are having a little squabble darling”

This should avoid a long and drawn out discussion on the matter.

Another endearing quality of the Mallard is that it likes to prance about on the roof of your cruiser……………………………………….at four o’clock in the morning.

To be continued………………………

i will be passing on your comments to the author in the hope that it will encourage him to write more.
he is retired so i hoping he has the time.

jill

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

You desperately battle with the wheel as the boat zigzags down the River Ant.

How true.

I once had the (mixed) pleasure of following a Wherry along the Ant - we were in a brand new first-time-out 37' gaffer from Herbert Woods yard...

Or, to put it another way, I was a completely clueless newcomer to the game being given an object lesson in precision boat handling by and expert - who, in the annoying way that experts have, made it look effortless.

[beaky]

hi peeps
a couple of quick glimpses of hathor on the move
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETPAfs_r888&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuoCOzAckHM&feature=related

see post bellow. do not play any clips by foxmanfox

jill

[Wooden Boat Fittings]

hi mike

rings no bells with me, sorry

jill

Ah. Mrs Barrable is the character in the centre of this picture --

http://www.woodenboatstore.com/images/35043s.jpg

and the Broads is Arthur Ransome country, where this book and its sequel "The Big Six" were set.

Mike

[beaky]

WARNING! i was looking through the youtube clips of the norfolk broads and clicked on one by foxmanfox and it damaged the speakers on my lap top.
jill

[beaky]

hi mike

i may get round to reading them one day

may be ill buy them for my granddaughter, shes half way through joshua slocum's sailing alone around the world at the mo and loves it.

jill

[beaky]

Part Six

A pleasant tea has been enjoyed, now to find a mooring for the first night.

“OK boys, undo the ropes we must be away”
The boys scamper to the allotted task.
You turn the key. Perky rocks and vibrates. You turn the key again, and again. Nothing happens. Perky seems to be getting weaker and weaker.
You start to drift imperceptibly towards the centre of the river.

“It won’t start”

You try again. Perky, by this time sounds distinctly asthmatic.

“Darling what can we do”
“I know, lets look at the weed filter” (the only positive thing that you can think off)

That does not cure the problem, there is only one thing for it. To ring the boatyard.

“Hello, Jolly Boating, Daphne speaking, how can I help you”
(don’t you need a Daphne at a time like this)
“It’s Mr Pearson here, the boat won’t start!”
“The boat won’t start?” (What is it about the “boat won’t start” that she doesn’t understand)
“Wait a minute I’ll pass you over to George”
A mature and calm voice answers.

“Hello Mr Pearson, where are you”

“Dunno”

“Do the lights work”

“Er yes”

“Is the engine turning”


“Yes”

“Have you pushed the stop button back in”

“The what button”

“The button you pulled to stop the engine”

“Er! I’ll check”

You find that indeed the button has not been pushed in, turning the key, Perky roars into life.

“That’s it – it works – thank you. Bye.”
The anxiety etched upon the faces of the crew disappears as you proceed down river.

“Mummy, is Daddy cross”
“No, of course not Darling”
“Why has he got a red face then?”



Some will say that it is a brave hirer who attempts a stern on mooring on the first day, others that it is irresponsible.

The next, episode follows………………………… the mooring at Gays Staithe


jill

[Duncan Gibbs]

Gotta go to bed now, but will get back in my spare time and read the story you've posted... Thus far... :)

Tabernacle from hell! :D
http://www.horning.org.uk/source/img.php?imgpath=../boats/0/_16412.jpg&ctext=?%20Gary%20Leech,%202006&maxsize=600&shape=1.345

PS: Jill, don't worry as these images have no address for use on forums like this one, other than direct link to the picture. Image sharing sites such as picturetrail or photobucket or flickr do have the ability to be posted and viewed on a thread. Most of the time with most websites, you should be able to just right click and you'll see "copy image address."

Like this: http://www.raidfinland.com/images/boats_in_front.jpg

Just put the ..insert url here.. and it will look like this:
http://www.raidfinland.com/images/boats_in_front.jpg

[beaky]

Part Seven

The family has been on the boat for a few hours, with one or two little mishaps. The trip across Barton was enjoyed by all. Indeed there was an air of confidence, of wellbeing, as a map was produced and all agreed that Gays Staithe would be an admirable place to stay for the first night.

Tranquil Moments glided majestically towards the entrance of the staithe, the sight that met them was truly magical. Gaily painted boats were moored stern on against the bank, the green grass was host to children playing, one or two people were fishing from the front of their boats.

What was not quite so magical was the fact that it seemed full up!

“Are we going to stop here Dad”
“Not enough room I’m afraid, we are going to have to try somewhere else.”
“Well, we must do something darling, Mafeking is desperate”
“Yes dear” (ever the obedient husband)
“Wait, look, there is a space, right at the end, next to the white boat with all the aerials sticking up”
“I can’t go down there, it will mean……… it will mean, I have to reverse it.”
“Oh don’t be so pathetic, I’ll help you”
“Yes dear”

There is one thing that you have been able to do, must have been a gift!! You always seem to be able to turn the beastie round. This evening was no exception, without any drama the manoeuvre was carried out impeccably. At least the stern was pointing in the right direction.

At this point it is worth mentioning a phenomena, recognised by anybody who has hired a boat, owned a boat, lives or works on the Norfolk Broads, the phenomena is known as the Reverse Syndrome. It afflicts in the main, the holidaymaker, and of course the first time boater, although it has to be said, it can last for more than one season.

It manifests itself during a period of acute distress, when everything defies principles, that guide reasoning, within a given situation.

The Reverse Syndrome is where the person at the helm presupposes that to reverse a boat, one needs to apply maximum revs in both the forward and reverse gears. The gear lever lends itself admirably to this task enabling the driver of the craft to change from forward to reverse at full speed, in one swift movement – in fact you can alternate between the two in rapid succession, several times during the operation.

Reversing also requires a degree of multi tasking, the head must swivel round repeatedly in order to ascertain if the objective has been realised, and the steering wheel must be rotated from one lock to the other in several rapid movements in an endeavour to direct the blunt end towards its goal.

“Right dear – lets go for it”
You turn the wheel over onto the right hand lock and put the boat into full reverse. Perky roars with delight.
The boat goes backwards – in a straight line – heading for the bank.

“Stop! Stop”

You slam the boat into forward gear.
The stern scythes round in a complete ark.
Marvellous, absolutely bloody fantastic. You are pointing down the dyke.

Unfortunately, the wrong way round.

By this time, ducks and coots have reached the sanctuary of the bushes on the far bank.

Mothers have called their children from play.

Curtains twitch.

Men emerge from the stern of their boats, clutching glasses of Chardonnay and Jacobs Creek Shiraz. They stand sullenly.

A chorus of advice in strange dialects, comes across the water.

“Put it in reverse mate” “Go forward” “Sling me a rope” “Turn the wheel the other way”

You feel somewhat inadequate.
At last you manage to turn the boat around – again.
This time more by luck than judgement, the stern is situated, more or less in the direction intended.

Full into reverse again, the boat, at warp factor 3, proceeds down the dyke. A well placed foot kicks your stern away from the bows of the third cruiser.

By this time Mrs P has decided that her contribution would be best made at the most vulnerable part of the boat.

The stern.

To assist in this onerous duty, she frantically shouts instructions.
“Go left”
“No go right”

“FORWARD”

All to no avail. Desperately she looks for a solution to the dilemma.
And then she finds it.

The very thing.

THE BOAT HOOK!

To be continued………………………………


jill

[beaky]

hi peeps

last episode arriving at tea time, your time.

jill

[beaky]

hi peeps

the last episode from roger the cabin boy
hope you enjoyed it.
im hoping he will continue the story one day.


Part Eight

The reverse manoeuvre has commenced, all is not well, but the crew rally round.

The Alifred, lay peacefully at her mooring. Immaculate, Gleaming chrome rails surrounded the decks. Pennants fluttered from the aerials. An imposing ensign on the stern endorsed the boats importance.

On board Mr and Mrs Entwhistle, Alice and Fred, both enjoying their customary sun downers of generous Gin and Tonics. (Indeed, old Fred also enjoyed a few sun uppers as well – plus a midday “swifty” or two, just to keep the tonsils lubricated – don’t you know!!)

What caused Fred to look up, we shall never know. A sixth sense perhaps. As he looked out of the starboard window he saw this vision, this apparition, of a boat careering in full reverse towards the Alifred. On the stern, a wild looking women, hair blowing in the wind, clutching a boat hook like Bodicea ready to lance the enemy.

In this case the enemy was the highly painted white gloss of the Alifred.

Fred started to have a bronchospasm.

Alice desperately tried to find her glasses.

Fred reached the foredeck. Hyperventilating.

“Put that ****** thing down woman”
You could feel a solicitor coming on.

“You can’t moor here……………………..Pal!”
You had the distinct feeling that he was not your “Pal” In fact you could hardly imagine him ever being your “Pal”

And then a miraculous thing happened. One of the fenders on Tranquil Moments snagged a rope attached to a mud weight. (hirers like to put mud weights down at ever possible opportunity – a feel good factor)
The boat slowed and slew to rest, inches from the gleaming paint work.

And then the true camaraderie of the Broads came to the fore. Willing hands assisted in the task of mooring the boat – having of course been advised to turn off the engine.
“Thanks a lot you guy’s, must have been the wind that caught me”

There was no wind

“Come on inside Darling and have a nice drink”
With shaking hands you gulp down a large Bells whisky.
After what you hoped was an appropriate period of time you decide to venture out of the stern door.

Fred was lying down in a darkened room

The chap next door seemed friendly enough.
“Hi mate – how are you doing?”
“Oh hello!” “A bit frazzled I’m afraid”
“Don’t worry about it. We’ve all been there”
In no time at all other people gathered round to pontificate on the days events.
It was looking good.

After an enjoyable meal, the first day was coming to a close.

The children were put to bed, exhausted they soon fell asleep.

Mafeking, because of a rather unpleasant nocturnal condition, was placed in the middle of the boat, with the doors shut, and a window left open.

And so to bed.

You both snuggle down the duvet.

“Gerald Darling” was whispered in your ear.
You can’t help thinking that it sounds promising.
“Yes dear”

“The bottom of the bed is soaking wet!”

In the still of the night, a Barn Owl hooted it’s haunting cry, a distant cluck of a nervous Coot, the sound of water gently lapping against the hull, and, like a metronome, the steady relentless, muffled sound, of condensation dripping from the window onto the duvet.

Daaad!

What now?

I’m frightened!

THE END…………………………….for the time being.


jill

[J. Dillon]

jill, beaky, I do hope you can continue this yarn. It is good so far.:D

How did you label your self 'beaky" ? it sounds like a yarn in itself. ;)

JD