Another dose of humility....

[bamamick]

and this time it didn't come on the race course.

Last week I found out that all of my plans for buying a new Dragon, being a part of the 30 square syndicate, and a few other fires I had going, had all come crashing down. A wee bit of a financial setback. It's not life or death or anything and I will have enough to get the Megabyte and get the wooden Dragon fixed, but to say that I feel like a fake, a fraud, and a liar would be an understatement.

One of the dangers of message boards is that they sometimes push what should probably remain dreams into the edges of reality. Being of a naturally hopeful disposition I have shared my dreams and perhaps in some cases I went a little too far with things. Oh, until last Friday I had every intention of making a big splash this year with my boating plans, but all I have done is make the fall that much harder. I have let a lot of people down. I have led people on (though completely unintentionally). I have dissapointed myself, my friends, and the people in the different classes that I have spoken with over the past couple of years, making plans and promises that I am not going to be able to keep.

I am sorry. I hope that I have learned a lesson, that living in public is going to have consequences sooner or later. When I think of all the ways that I am blessed, at how much I have to be thankful for, I can not help but feel even more ashamed at how crummy I feel right now, but I have spent 49 years being thought of as a man of my word. No more. Now I am a person who makes agreements and breaks them. Along with my own heart.

I think that I will take some time away from the boards. Not just this one but some others where I post. I have always appreciated the true friendship that I have found here and want each and everyone of you who have been kind to me to know how much I truly appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Take care,

Mickey Lake

[seayou7]

Honesty is the highest form integrity takes, you make the grade! Be well and kind to yourself. Boyz and their toys...

[Wild Wassa]

Take care as well. You will be sadly missed. I look forward to your return brother racing sailor.

If you make it to Aus for the Dragons, I'd be only too happy to crew for you.

Warren.

[skuthorp]

That's a big post Bamamick, and it took a big person. Good luck to you and I'll look forward to your return
Jeff

[paladin]

it takes a big man to make a tender chikkin.....er something like that.....regroup Mickey, come back, but in the meantime, Godspeed.

[Hwyl]

I think it may be time to count your blessings. Not least amongst them are the friends you have on these boards (speaking for here and SA). I do give a hoot whether or not you accomplish your dreams, but it seems to me you are accomplishing quite a lot already (I'm not going to enumerate blessings here).

Speaking for myself, if you think that I would think less of you because you are not going to acquire extra boats to your fleet, well I'm a little insulted.

Be well, think about your family and come back soon, if not immediately.

[rbgarr]

Good luck all the way around.

Getting caught up in making promises that can't be realized is one of the more painful aspects of a life spent trying to achieve things and promote a passion. Most know it's rarely intentional and the sense of humiliation that can come with it makes you want to shrivel up and die.

Come back as soon as you can.

[Lew Barrett]

Plans change, things happen and even the most resolute must eventually come to a place where the mind changes and accepts the reality of a new situation, or a reassessment of the existing one. If a man meets his debts and pays for what he takes and speaks the truth as he understands it at the time that's as much as can be asked. Changing one's mind for whatever reason may be humiliating in certain cases, but it should not be cause for self abasement for long, nor is it ever something that anyone should hold against you. Disappointing, perhaps. Dishonerable, not at all.

[shamus]

If something unforseen changes your circumstances I can't see that there's any dishonour involved. Good luck, Mickey- I like to read your Dragon dreams.

[glenallen]

That's the most poignant, heartfelt post I've seen in the bilge.
Probably, everybody associated with you unbderstands you and forgives you, Mickey. Please, forgive yourself and move on. Sooner the better!

[The Bigfella]

Couldn't agree more. We value your presence and input mate. Hang around.

[Spin_Drift]

Plans change, things happen and even the most resolute must eventually come to a place where the mind changes and accepts the reality of a new situation, or a reassessment of the existing one. If a man meets his debts and pays for what he takes and speaks the truth as he understands it at the time that's as much as can be asked. Changing one's mind for whatever reason may be humiliating in certain cases, but it should not be cause for self abasement for long, nor is it ever something that anyone should hold against you. Disappointing, perhaps. Dishonerable, not at all.

Mickey, I feel the same way as Lew, he said it so well here.

We dream, make plans, share them with those we like to share them with. Something unforeseen happens, plans change.

You are respected for your honesty. Wishing you well and hoping
you return soon or better yet decide to stay.

[John Bertenshaw]

Mickey, You've talked about the kind of hours you work and your involvement with the American Dragons , the dinghies , the schooner and the driving to and participation in sailing events . It seems to me you do a hell of a lot ,your honesty and commitment has always showed through. 8 years I've been coming here ,so I feel I can know that.
If you've had a setback you've had a setback , but that doesn't alter mine or I bet , anyone elses perception of you or your character.
I wish I had your drive , the way you follow through on your goals and your aspirations.
Take a breather ,and I hope you're back here soon. Tomorrow would be good.:D

[Lulworth]

Micky, I don't see any issue at all. You share some jolly good dreams and the ebb and flow of the fortunes of life hinders/enables the dream's progress toward fruition. It's all part of the deal and no applogy need be offered. Cheers, David

[StevenBauer]

Yup, what Lew and John said. :) A disappointing setback but temporary.

Steven

[S/V Laura Ellen]

Mickey, don't give up the dream. It's good to have dreams. It's also understandable to have setbacks.

I've had a few setbacks with my dream to restore/repair Laura Ellen. Came close to selling/giving away the boat more than once. Laura Ellen sat for over a year while I reassessed my capabilities and the resources necessary to continue the project. With each setback I was lower than dirt, but things slowly turned around each time.

Hang in there fore the long term. You have already been a positive influence, keep at it.

[bamamick]

I appreciate the kind words more than you could know. Much more.

I feel a little better now after having talked to all of the people involved. The wooden Dragon will go into the shop next week and I will probably be back to my old self when that happens. I don't know what I will do about traveling now. I really can't haul her 'cross country two or three times a year since she gets beaten up so badly, so maybe I will have to ease off on the traveling some.

Anyway, that's all beside the point. I wanted to thank you for being such good friends. I will never forget your kindness.

Mickey Lake

[P.I. Stazzer-Newt]

Come back with another story -- nobody who read the IC adventure will forget it.

Best wishes.

[Noah]

Good luck with everything, and it's probably for the best - you actually can have too many boats.

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

Honesty is the highest form integrity takes, you make the grade! Be well and kind to yourself. Boyz and their toys...

Exactly, please we all dream on this place. In my head I live on a 42 ft live-a-board somewhere slightly east of Turks & Cacaos ;) I look on Yachtword daily as I'm sure many on this forum do. I occasionally spill those dreams on this forum. Hey a man without dreams and aspirations is not a man in my opinion. Takes a man to realize his limitations but never give up the dream man. I like ya Mickey always liked ya always will.

Dont take it so hard.

[Evan Showell]

Chin up Mick. Nothing wrong with dreaming big. It often leads to big accomplishments. No shame in daring to try and failing. It is, of course, substantially more difficult than sitting on one's keister, but that's what makes the ocassional victories that much sweeter. Good on you for having a go. People of substance will recognize that you fell short of a lofty goal and won't condemn you for it. Don't beat yourself up either.

[Jay Greer]

Sharing our dreams does not necessarily mean that one suffers from hoof in mouth disease. A man without dreams has no future. Hang in there Mick. Your ship of dreams is still on the horizon.
Jay

[Willin']

Chin up Mick. Nothing wrong with dreaming big. It often leads to big accomplishments. No shame in daring to try and failing. It is, of course, substantially more difficult than sitting on one's keister, but that's what makes the ocassional victories that much sweeter. Good on you for having a go. People of substance will recognize that you fell short of a lofty goal and won't condemn you for it. Don't beat yourself up either.

Damn, Evan, you talk purty;). Well spoken!

You coming home to the Burg this summer?

[John Bertenshaw]

I've been thinking a lot about this thread.
I agree with all the comments about thinking big but back about 7 or 8 years ago someone here repeated a maxim which I like to remember and repeat from time to time.

An aspiration is an achievable dream.

This sits well with me and my way of living my life although I recognise that some would prefer to think bigger and to live larger. The problem I have with Big Dreams is that they can often be unrealistic ones and sometimes can morph into non productive types like ' if I win the lotto I can..."
They're fine to think from time to time and man if I won the lotto I'd ........
But really, if money is your thing, you're better to make your own lotto on whatever scale it is that you choose to aspire to live at.

Anyway, It seems to me that Mickey hasn't been dreaming big per se... he's planned and aspired to something which extends him and gets him towards his goals.( world yachtswithoverhangs yachting domination ...Joke ,its just a little joke slipped in there)

So a setback of whatever type has limited that for now and means deferring or modifying that aspiration but it doesn't need to mean the loss of it.
The point I'm making is that it did seem to be a realistic aspiration from where I'm sitting. I'm glad you're looking at it with fresher eyes Mickey, and I promise to limit my 'another boat for Mickey' threads to say, whatcha reckon... 80 % of what I normally do.:D


alright then.. maybe 90 %.

[py]

I reckon if you're not trying to do something that may well be beyond your ability to achieve then you're not really trying. Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. Right now I have no significant goals or dreams or projects and its seriously pissing me off. Just going to work, paying the bills, doing normal every day family stuff. I guess I have a dream, it involves a good sized sailing boat. But its on hold for at least the next 5 years or so. That sucks.
Phil

[Evan Showell]

Yeah Mark, unless plans change. Probably sometime in the early part of July, although could be August, instead. I'd love to see that Int. 500 up close and personal.

Ever investigate mooring on the New Meadows side?

[Willin']

Evan, I'm still thinking about it aggressively. It's just hard once I've motored my way down the Kennebec to turn right around and head up the New Meadows. I'm gonna send out a feeler in the classifieds soon.

Hopefully Drift will be in the water early this year. When last we talked about getting together I never splashed her. Too many honeydews that summer. This year we'll get together...honest.

Hey Mick, hope your outlook is improved!