Botebum

[Bobby]

Hey guy, hows it goin? Candyland Chutes and ladders? Beer? Something?

[Bobby]

Originally Posted by Tom Montgomery

I don't know what this thread is about. But I am here to say Doug is OK by me.

Its just about his well being.

[capt jake]

Yeah, how's it going? Chin up and smile....it makes others wonder what you're up to!

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

We are all here for you

[oznabrag]

Thass right, Pinky! We care about yer sorry ass, and we won't quit 'til you say something!

Anything!


...crickets...

Shoot. That ol' boy's tied on a goodun and gone chasin' tail... That's my boy!

[botebum]

Doing pretty well. Good days and bad. Yesterday-bad. Today-good. The other night- really bad. Getting Scooter sometime tonight and taking her back in the am before work. Getting her again tomorrow night and dropping her at daycare("Daddy! It's SHKOOL! Daycare is for BABIES!") Monday am. Gotta' leave for MA on Tues. and won't be back till Thanksgiving so I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with her.
I made a final plea to Tonya asking if she'd consider marriage counseling. No deal I told her to draw up her version of the separation agreement and we'd bounce it back and forth till we could agree. I need closure(I really hate that word). I also need to get laid but that's another issue.

Doug

[botebum]

Oh yeah. Gone on the wagon for a while till I can get my head right.

Doug

[oznabrag]

Hang tough, ol' son.

[seanz]

Originally Posted by botebum

Oh yeah. Gone on the wagon for a while till I can get my head right.

Doug

Just when I thought I had my mind made up about you it turns out you're a genius.


Onya Dougie.

[Bobby]

The wagons tuff, but you can do it. Hang in there guy. If you need to talk call me. 24/7 Bobby

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

Originally Posted by botebum

Oh yeah. Gone on the wagon for a while till I can get my head right.

Doug

Excellent idea It's what I do when I need my wits and depression is wagging its black dog tail.

Doug as you know Ive done this dance not too long ago so if you ever need to talk I'm PMing you my number.

Just remember like you said there will be good days and bad days. remembering that gets you through the bad ones.

Oh and you will get laid and it will be mind blowing NOTHING is the world is as good as new sex

Look out for my number it's on its way.

[botebum]

Just ordered(I think. Something seemed screwy) plans for the Catspaw Dinghy. Gonna' save Sedge for later. Scooter and I decided we need to build a sailboat first so she can start learning to sail. Money's almost there to get started if I don't blow the wad on a four wheeler for her for birthday(Dec. 21)/Christmas. Gonna' shoot for the whole enchalada

Doug

[Memphis Mike]

Originally Posted by botebum

Oh yeah. Gone on the wagon for a while till I can get my head right.

Doug

Wise decision.

[Dave Gray]

Good choices all Doug. I am looking forward to seeing pictures of you and Scooter sailing. Next summer?

MMike is a superstar? Who woulda thunk?

[ChaseKenyon]

Doug if you need to get out of "bean Town" for a break on the weekend you are welcome. The place is is falling down but it's warm and the food is pretty good (ex chef in residence) and there are four unused bedrooms. My son makes it up in 1HR 40MIn from Cambridge. so we are not that far. There is regular frequent bus runs from Boston to Concord NH which is 25 min from here. So if you want give us a call when you get to Boston.

Chase

PS if you come up by bus for the weekend to get away I can pick you up in Concord in the "limo" as daughter calls the Jag VDP lol. 603 938 5282

[ChaseKenyon]

oh btw central MA and western ma is closer.

[Hwyl]

Same offer, but you already knew that 207 646 4023

[botebum]

My old girlfriend just called. The one from CA that was supposed to come visit this week. We found out at the last minute that she had to work all week and couldn't make it. We had a great chat and hoping to make new plans for a visit. Today is a good day. My imaginary friends love me and my old girfriend wants some more of the ole' sumthin' sumthin'

Doug

[Pugwash]

Originally Posted by botebum

My old girlfriend just called. The one from CA that was supposed to come visit this week. We found out at the last minute that she had to work all week and couldn't make it. We had a great chat and hoping to make new plans for a visit. Today is a good day. My imaginary friends love me and my old girfriend wants some more of the ole' sumthin' sumthin'

Doug

Oh God, she's from California now.

You're going to have bits of dead Bambi lying around the place, a leaky old Chevy gas guzzling truck sitting in the driveway (yard) And holes in the drywall where you hit it when you really couldn't understand how Obama got elected (think Lewis Black for the italics).

Looking good mate.

[botebum]

I have a Ford and there ain't a piece of sheetrock in the house(all T&G pine)

Doug

[Yeadon]

The Catspaw Dinghy ... cool little boat. I think the scantlings for the spars are wayyy too big, though. When the time comes, you might consider scaling them down a bit.

[botebum]

Haven't thought about the spars much yet. We are planning on stripping so lighter spars might be a good idea.
Scooter has arrived so I'm outa' here

Doug

[Paul Girouard]

Originally Posted by boylesboats

Am I on someone ignore list?

Why do you worry about this issue?

[botebum]

Originally Posted by boylesboats

Am I on someone ignore list?

Not mine. I don't have one. If I offended anyone by not answering I apologize. It's been a rough week. Scooter is asleep in my lap right now. Rough week over. New week starts 7am tomorrow.

Doug

[boylesboats]

Originally Posted by botebum

Not mine. I don't have one. If I offended anyone by not answering I apologize. It's been a rough week. Scooter is asleep in my lap right now. Rough week over. New week starts 7am tomorrow.

Doug

I am glad that you doing good... Scooter is happy being with ya... That what matter..

[Paul Girouard]

Originally Posted by boylesboats

Please......

Why do you constantly ask about being on someones ignore list?

What so hard about that question?

[Wild Dingo]

Doug mate... youve chosen wisely grasshopper... you have my number? I'll send it if not maybe a bit exy $ wise to ring down under but mate Im here! And like Joeboy only more recent Ive been there.

Seems women have this thing of not wanting closure but demanding exclusion which doesnt make any sence... good idea getting the things sorted ASAP... make sure you get plenty of access to both Macca and Summer mate... Maccas your baby by birth but Summers your baby as well dont let yourself forget that your her daddy and important to her.

DONT whatever you do let the black dog get a big hold on you... you feel it coming mate you GET HELP!!! dont think its okay dont think your right dont think tuff it out... GET SOME BLOODY HELP!! before it gets too bad okay?

You already have good and bad days and I'll bet dollars to donuts that she is on your mind 24/7 sometimes hope sometimes none sometimes frustration sometimes anger but when it get so bad you feel the pit coming GET HELP!!

Ring me anytime alright? Dont give a rats what time it is just ring if you need a voice of insanity to bring you back to some degree of your own normal self alright? Hell Im lucky to get to sleep by 2am anyway so Im up and if not only takes a couple of rings and I am... any excuse to get up is good by me... time enough to sleep when the race is over is my view

Cheers younger bro
Shane

[Mrleft8]

Drill the hole for the centerboard pivot pin before you glue and screw the centerboard trunk onto the keel.... Just trust me on this one...

[Jim Ledger]

Originally Posted by Mrleft8

Drill the hole for the centerboard pivot pin before you glue and screw the centerboard trunk onto the keel.... Just trust me on this one...

Point taken.

[Wild Dingo]

Originally Posted by Mrleft8

Drill the hole for the centerboard pivot pin before you glue and screw the centerboard trunk onto the keel.... Just trust me on this one...

ooh dad old fella that was priceless

[LeeG]

Hang in there Doug, I have no ideas what your demons are but there's lots of ways to tuck them a way and a lot of people who can help you get through nearly anything as long as you ask.

[Joe ( Cold Spring on Hudson )]

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

Seems women have this thing of not wanting closure but demanding exclusion which doesnt make any sence.
.....
You already have good and bad days and I'll bet dollars to donuts that she is on your mind 24/7 sometimes hope sometimes none sometimes frustration sometimes anger but when it get so bad you feel the pit coming

Not to Hijack Doug's thread ( BTW did you get my PM ? ) but what Shane said struck home with me. Not with my ex, I'm wayyyyyyyyyy over that, but with Tabitha. No freaking closure is a killer. She moved and I waited, she got bit by the black dog and I waited with no contact what so ever. I finally told her I needed to start dating because the sit on my hands and wait for nothing is just not who I am. As soon as I did that WOW we got daily communication again. Recently she contacted me we have tried to remain friends while we both lay down with others ( harsh but true and kills me as much as it makes me a hypocrite. ) Seems she was in a hard place, she has been in an every increasingly hard place since she moved down to VA. I offered some well needed financial help, well again I got daily communication. After the transaction cleared I haven't heard from her in two weeks now. Yea I got the hint. But the heart wants what the heart wants.

Doug understand one thing, the first real relationship after your marriage is deadly and doomed. They make you feel like a man again after being in the shadows of a bad thing for so long and so beat down. Its like a opiate and you suck it in and it enters your very soul. When it ends and they always end it's a killing withdrawal.

Anyway that's enough pity for one Sunday morning I'm going sailing

[Wild Dingo]

mmmmm... now Im not one to disagree just for the sake of disagreeing and whats happened to Joe has happened... but for me well I used the first relationship to simply renew myself to let go of the attachment I felt in the physical sence to Jo... now dont go all uptity she was well aware of what was on offer and was content with it so it wasnt using by one side alone but anyway... it got me over that hurdle

I think ones attitude and approach is as important with the first relationship after the meltdown as is the thought pattern and intent when entering that relationship... youve been hurt dude really hurt emotionally give yourself the time and space to let go the anger hurt pain and bitterness BEFORE you even consider another relationship or it WILL fail as Joe said... give yourself time to heal and to have done with the attachments and time for you to experience you as you now are and that new relationship IS NOT doomed... its only doomed if your mind is still attached to the one thats gone disattach and disassociate and there is no longer that angst and constant recall of what was what happened and what could have been...

Personally Im now almost 2 years in since Jo did what she did and although more than able to have another relationship wont do so for at least another 2 years not a serious one to do so is unfair on whoever it is and on myself... and as such would no doubt fail... so wait and let myself heal and feel the freedom to believe in myself again I think is the key... you and Joe might THINK your ready to move on and have another serious relationship but for me I wasnt when I was over there (mores the pity) and Im still not... so I will content myself with whatever eventuates and be honest with whoever comes along so that if anything happens it happens freely and with knowledge

Mate... just relax dont rush anything and try to loose the anger you've said elsewhere that you have its not healthy for you or Scooter nor for any sheila you might find along the way... its definantly a part of what your going through as it was for Joe and for me and for anyone else thats walked this road but you have to loose it if for nothing else but your own peace of mind

Cheers
Shane

[LeeG]

Originally Posted by Wild Dingo

Seems women have this thing of not wanting closure but demanding exclusion which doesnt make any sence... good idea getting the things sorted ASAP... make sure you get plenty of access to both Macca and Summer mate... Maccas your baby by birth but Summers your baby as well dont let yourself forget that your her daddy and important to her.


Cheers younger bro
Shane

you sure hit that on the head regarding sorting things out ASAP. It's a little death to sort things out for your own good when it was done with the other in mind. It's like killing a part of ones heart but it has to be done because the other person isn't looking out for your well being let alone the relationship you have with your kids.